Passing time

Time is moved by forward and life goes on. We have found a kind of new normal. I keep expecting to go back to how I was or wake up a new version of myself, but it’s a slow process. I’ll never be who I was before. I have lost a little more of my sparkle. I’m much less tolerant of people. I used to make an effort with everyone, even when they were pretty shit friends. I don’t now. I give exactly enough to most and more to those I love and value. I don’t think that’s a bad thing though. I just know that life is too short and precious to waste on any one or thing that doesn’t deserve or appreciate it. I have found that I do have a great deal of wonderful people around me. I’m very lucky in that respect.

We still haven’t had Jacks pm back yet. It’s hard. We cannot move forward without that. It’s like the last part of this. It’s keeping me in this limbo between the old me and the me I’m becoming. Fingers crossed that it will only be a few more weeks!

Taking each day as it comes. The sad times are starting to be outweighed by the good. Life is slowly moving on. I know we will find a new normal. One that is enriched by our memories of Jack.

– Allana x

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Mother’s Day

Thinking of everyone not able to hold their little ones today. I know the heartbreak and pain you are feeling. I know how much it hurts seeing everyone post their gifts and cards from living children. Seeing the love and joy which should have been ours. Whether it’s your first empty armed Mother’s Day like me, or your 50th, know you are and always will be a mum. You are just as valid as any other mum this day.

Unconditional love and care is what makes a mum, not gifts or cuddles. It’s knowing you would do anything for your baby, even if it breaks your own heart.

We are angel mums and we are strong. We can get through this tough day and all others. Our angels are always looking down on us. Until we meet them again ❤️

Mummy loves you Jack, always xxx